Today I am writing because I need to let some things off of my chest. I am unsure if anyone actually reads my blog, nor do I care...well actually I do care because I do want to reach at least one person. But that is definitely not the point of this post....
Lately, I have been feeling hungry and thirsty for more of the Lord, and it just seems like He isn't near. I'm praying, I'm reading, I'm fasting.... my quiet time with Him are some days hit and miss. Some days I am totally enthralled in worship, and other days it's not there. I personally don't think that my Father would want me to bring an obligated sacrifice to His altar without a pure heart.
To be even more honest, I have been feeling like my Father is turning His back on me. Yes I read all the cute little quotes that float around social media, but those mean nothing when I'm desperately seeking to hear from my Father. It's like I'm calling Him repeatedly, I've sent a thousand text messages, e-mails, tweets, FB messages, etc., BUT I feel like His response is .... "I just don't wanna talk right now!" Have you ever felt like that? I'm tired of this feeling!
This morning I posted a scripture on my refrigerator as a reminder to myself and my husband which says, "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps" (Psalm 16:9, NLT). Surely this verse comes at a time where I am feeling lost. By age 16, if someone were to ask me how my life would be after high school I could give them every detail down to the address that I would be living at by age 25. Sadly, I have only accomplished two of those things and they are definitely not in the time frame that I had intended. So what do I do? Do I throw myself into overdrive and see how much I can accomplish by 30? Do I re-evaluate my timeline and see what I can scratch off the list? Hmmmmm.... none of these are necessarily the answer. In fact, this morning I had to tell myself that it's OKAY! Here's the thing... life NEVER goes as we plan, simply because WE are planning. I know for a fact that not planning life out is one of the hardest things to do. I just want to be able to sit in the back seat and say, "Okay Lord I'm going to chill and let You do what You do!" Seems nearly impossible....but I'm sure that He can and will give us the strength!
I guess I will end my random rambling here...
Sincerely,
The King's Daughter
Monday, June 30, 2014
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Confession: I was mad at God...
My Fellow Sippers,
It has indeed been a couple of months since I have last posted, mostly due to the chaos that the Lord helped me to overcome. I come to you guys today writing from the purity and honesty of my heart. I must confess that I have been walking around angry at God. I don't say that to brag. In fact, I am writing this because it may be of encouragement to someone else, or it may be helpful insight to someone.
Starting in February, two months before I was set to marry the love of my life, I encountered what I now understand as the beginning of life's craziness. At the moment I did not realize that the craziness would soon intensify in a matter of weeks. As soon as I felt relief from February's madness, the real March madness occurred when I was involved in my first accident ever in life. For legal reasons I won't delve into the details of what happened; however, I'll say that at that moment is when I should have been feeling happy and thankful for being alive, but instead I felt pure anger. I wasn't sure how to communicate my anger, I just know that I was walking around feeling sorry for myself and as though my Father did not love me as much as His word says He does.
April came... I got married and life began to pick up. Only six days after saying our "I Do's" I was sitting in a testing center taking yet again another important test. I left out feeling as though the world had fallen on my shoulders. I was trying to figure out exactly why God would even allow me to take that test, knowing that I wasn't fully prepared. Can I just pause and say that those thoughts were not of the Lord? Maybe two weeks after going through my testing ordeal, something hit me (I tend to believe it was my Father knocking some sense back into me). I heard a still, small voice whispering to me, "Stand still and know that I am God! I am here! I have not left you and never will I leave you!"
The Lord does not cause us to suffer, but he allows our suffering to remind us of how big our faith should be. I am a person who is big on FAITH! More than likely you will often find me preaching and teaching faith to someone, because I believe that without faith NOTHING is possible. Instead of walking around angry, I grabbed my boots by the straps and declared that I will remain faithful. I begged for forgiveness and I believe that I have been forgiven.
For those of you who have lost your faith and you're feeling like the Lord has abandoned you, I challenge you to take a few days or a few weeks and meditate on the Book of Job. The story of Job's unfailing faith is truly remarkable and worth the read for a reminder of how faithful our God is. Write on your mirrors (with dry erase markers), post sticky notes everywhere, post a reminder wherever you need it that YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR! You were born to conquer. You are a child of the King; therefore, you are considered royalty. Royalty reigns and my dear you shall reign! Don't concentrate on the bad, but praise
Him for the good. If you are still alive, then your purpose has not yet been fulfilled. Get up and walk into your purpose. Cry out to God that He will reveal His perfect plan for your life, that you may be able to bring glory to His kingdom.
God loves you and He has not and will not fail you!
Signed,
The King's Daughter
It has indeed been a couple of months since I have last posted, mostly due to the chaos that the Lord helped me to overcome. I come to you guys today writing from the purity and honesty of my heart. I must confess that I have been walking around angry at God. I don't say that to brag. In fact, I am writing this because it may be of encouragement to someone else, or it may be helpful insight to someone.
Starting in February, two months before I was set to marry the love of my life, I encountered what I now understand as the beginning of life's craziness. At the moment I did not realize that the craziness would soon intensify in a matter of weeks. As soon as I felt relief from February's madness, the real March madness occurred when I was involved in my first accident ever in life. For legal reasons I won't delve into the details of what happened; however, I'll say that at that moment is when I should have been feeling happy and thankful for being alive, but instead I felt pure anger. I wasn't sure how to communicate my anger, I just know that I was walking around feeling sorry for myself and as though my Father did not love me as much as His word says He does.
April came... I got married and life began to pick up. Only six days after saying our "I Do's" I was sitting in a testing center taking yet again another important test. I left out feeling as though the world had fallen on my shoulders. I was trying to figure out exactly why God would even allow me to take that test, knowing that I wasn't fully prepared. Can I just pause and say that those thoughts were not of the Lord? Maybe two weeks after going through my testing ordeal, something hit me (I tend to believe it was my Father knocking some sense back into me). I heard a still, small voice whispering to me, "Stand still and know that I am God! I am here! I have not left you and never will I leave you!"
The Lord does not cause us to suffer, but he allows our suffering to remind us of how big our faith should be. I am a person who is big on FAITH! More than likely you will often find me preaching and teaching faith to someone, because I believe that without faith NOTHING is possible. Instead of walking around angry, I grabbed my boots by the straps and declared that I will remain faithful. I begged for forgiveness and I believe that I have been forgiven.
For those of you who have lost your faith and you're feeling like the Lord has abandoned you, I challenge you to take a few days or a few weeks and meditate on the Book of Job. The story of Job's unfailing faith is truly remarkable and worth the read for a reminder of how faithful our God is. Write on your mirrors (with dry erase markers), post sticky notes everywhere, post a reminder wherever you need it that YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR! You were born to conquer. You are a child of the King; therefore, you are considered royalty. Royalty reigns and my dear you shall reign! Don't concentrate on the bad, but praise
Him for the good. If you are still alive, then your purpose has not yet been fulfilled. Get up and walk into your purpose. Cry out to God that He will reveal His perfect plan for your life, that you may be able to bring glory to His kingdom.
God loves you and He has not and will not fail you!
Signed,
The King's Daughter
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