Lost & Found

My Fellow Sippers,

Lately I've been compelled to share my story, and to encourage others who are on the borderline of fully surrendering their lives to Christ. Although it is still a journey for me, I will begin by saying that the best decision I've ever made was getting to know the Lord firsthand, and not to allow religion to dictate my relationship with Him.

Here's a little background information for you to build the picture (don't mind me I'm a visual person).
I grew up in the church. I came from a small town in South Carolina, where religion was heavily influenced in my family. Both of my parents were heavily involved in the church. As a young girl I was enthralled at the sight of the adults being fully engaged with the Word. I absolutely loved to hear preaching. In fact, I wanted to be a preacher. Even funnier, in the seventh grade I was nominated to most likely be a preacher.

As a preteen and a teenager I didn't see church the same anymore. I started to dislike it heavily. Church to me seemed more like an obligation, rather than a spiritual choice. During my freshman year of high school my parents made the decision to leave our former denomination and we became members of our present church. Although the atmosphere was different, it still took me a while to like going to church again. I then became involved with the youth ministry, which gave me another perspective of spirituality. I was captivated by watching other young people succumb to the presence of God. It was awesome! Our youth pastors were great! I loved church again. Then something happened (I choose not to go into detail). When this happened, I was hurt and many of us felt abandoned. I went away to college and tried to live the innocent Christian girl life... until I chose to engage in premarital sex and became pregnant.

Pregnancy changed my life. I'm not sure how most 21 year old single women handle pregnancy, but for a period of time I felt like I was in a depression. I was mad at myself. I knew better! I disappointed my family, especially my parents. Most of all, I just knew deep within my heart that the Lord was absolutely angry with me. I was so deep in bondage that I didn't want to go to church anymore. I didn't want people to look at me and see me wear my sin. I felt like Hester Prynne from the Scarlet Letter, except I wasn't wearing a scarlet "A". My scarlet letter was the baby bump that I walked around with until my delivery date.

During my pregnancy, while feeling alone and as though the worst thing happened, the Lord spoke to me. He reminded me that He loved me regardless. Yes, I disappointed Him, but I asked for forgiveness and I believe that He forgave me. Something we as Christians often forget is that our Lord loves sinners. If we were all perfect, there wouldn't have been a need for Christ to die on the cross. He died so that we could have life and have it more abundantly. How could I not love the One who sent His Son to die for me?

After having my daughter, I felt more free in Christ, which is when I began this blog. I felt restored with purpose to share God's love with others. I'm not where I want to be spiritually, but each day I see growth. I surround myself with others who desire to be captivated by the love of God. Does that mean that I can't have fun anymore? No! Something that young adults will realize is that surrendering your life doesn't mean that the fun is sucked out of you. In fact, you find life to be more fun because you are free. Of course you won't continue living like the world, so your fun won't be like the world's definition of fun.

I choose to let the light shine within me and through me. I don't allow religion to control me. I'm not saying that church is the worst, but I'm saying that the church is full of sinners striving to be saints. I choose to have a true relationship with my Father. My duty as a Christian is to lead others to the Kingdom, not to chastise them for being imperfect. I strive to be like Christ, and for others to gravitate to His love that flows through me. When I die, I want to die assured that I will be able to run into the arms of my Father and that He will say to me "Job well done!" I don't think that I will ever be perfect, but I love a perfect God who loves imperfect me perfectly. Try Him!

Signed,
The King's Daughter