We allow our hurt to have way too much control in our lives. It's time to LET IT GO! When we allow our hurt to control our lives, we are practically walking around with a terminal illness. I say that out of experience, as I have found myself lingering to past hurts. My conclusion is that when someone hurts you, no matter the relationship, it simply means that they don't value you. I know this may not apply to every single situation, because sometimes others unintentionally hurt us, but I'm referring to the intentional hurt.
I'll give you an example...
I recently found myself harboring emotions that stimulated from a past friendship. I valued this friendship to the point where I became protective of the friend. I would find myself defending her (not aggressively) when others called out her flaws. Well in return this friend hurt me. She stopped talking to me and to this day I don't know why she doesn't speak to me. I've tried reaching out to her, but to no avail has she reached back. The bottom line is that she didn't value me or our friendship enough to tell me why it's over. Am I hurt? Yes. I'm still trying to find peace with the situation, but I've also allowed that sour end of a friendship to control me. It's caused me to put my guard up with other friendships, and even purposely keep my friendly circle small. The reality is, however, that I should not allow that sour end to dictate my relationship with others. Because I truly value my relationships, it's okay for me to be very protective of them.
When we allow those hurtful relationships to dictate our other relationships, we get to a point where we begin to question everything we've ever said and ever done. Did I do this right? What didn't I do right? What do I need to change about me? However, when you know that you've given a relationship or friendship your all, 100%, then why question yourself? Stop questioning yourself! Hurt people hurt people. It's not you that needs to change, it's them. If that friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, is okay with intentionally hurting you, then they have some work to do. It's time for you to let that relationship go!
Don't let it go by getting revenge or saying mean things about them. But do as Christ would do, and love them....and I'll go as far and say love them from afar. Still pray for them, not only when you know that they are going through things, but keep them in your prayers steadily. It's obvious that when they can hurt you with no explanation, then they don't know the true value of love, and you can't know love without knowing God. The scripture says in 1 John 4:8, "But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love" (NLT). Therefore, even if they apologize and come around, until they begin to grow with God, they can't grow in love.
I end this by saying DETOX and LET IT GO! Give your mental, spiritual, and emotional self a full detox of the hurt that you have gained from relationships. You can start by unplugging from your connections to that hurtful relationship, and plugging into your Bible, prayer, and fasting. This will require you to take your guard down because that guard not only hinders progression physically, but it will also hinder your spiritual progression. I encourage you to forgive in your heart, as we are instructed to do so in Mark 11:25, and continue to love like our Heavenly Father in your other relationships.
Sincerely,
The King's Daughter
